I'm not going to lie to you

Today was a hard day.  

I've been pretty lucky my whole life, having ample success with some consistent but not laborious effort.  Things come easy to me most of the time, they just do. 

But today?  Wow.  I made many mistakes many times.  I had a hard time communicating.  I was repeatedly flustered.  I was in charge of a group of students that were counting on me to lead them, and I did so only marginally well.  I did not know the basic information that most people know.   I had to rush a custodian to help me.  Ask teachers to cover for me during an event I had double booked.  Count on the patience of someone I have never worked with before.  Hand off something I was asked to do because of other time constraints.  All in all, I let people down, scattered in my wake.  

Then, stack all of that up with some untimely unfortunate events.  Documents that were not saved.  A login that logged out.  Being late for a staff meeting.  A child nearly fainting a foot away from me.  

And just for some fun, let's add in that it was 87 degrees in a hundred year old school building.  So, with recalibration, that's about 115, give or take a hellish degree.

Three times during the day, I looked at my hands and they were shaking, that's how much stress I was feeling.  

In reflection, I can see that I'm really lucky. Most of the time, I have my shit together. 

And, when you just can't quite keep up, it's hard.  Really quite difficult. 

So, along with some disappointment and anger I feel in and about myself, I feel far greater empathy for kids that are struggling in school -- just trying to understand and do what is asked of them.  I was one of them today, a member of The Breakfast Club.  I get it and I pray -- pray, pray, pray -- that this will make me more compassionate in the long run. 

While all of this mayhem was going on, guess what?  A mama owl and her three owlets had taken roost in a low tree on the north side of Fernway's front lawn.  I am not kidding you, four suburban owls hanging out at school. 

The first time I saw an owl was just a few weeks ago, but then, she was far away and it was dusk, so all I really saw was her wide wingspan swooping through the black maples.  

But these owls?  They were right there.  Twelve feet away.  Faces looking down at us.  So calm, so still.  It was amazing.  No.  More amazing than amazing.  

And that, my friends, is the rub.  It can be a hard, hard day.  A day in which you fail miserably.  But, I swear it's true -- somewhere on the edge of that hard day is an owl.  Your owl.  Something to run to.  Something to marvel at.  

Right there, near every mess, is something quite surprisingly spectacular.  Find it.  See it. Let the owl be the thing that lasts in you.